it just makes such a difference when a guy is really into you.
when you can enjoy spending time with him, in public.
no shame.
that he's just really nice and pays for things.
and you get along, no fear. it's transparent and just really nice.
it's what i want from now on. it's what i deserve. i can't go back. it really does make a difference.
it's hard to think about how many more fellows i may or may not kiss before i meet the one. but if i do kiss them/when i do kiss them, they should be deserving of my time and affection.
they should really care, even if it's just for a little while.
i want to build upon it, have more. i think i'm maybe starting to discern who's the who and what's the what and what i want, want i deserve.
no more punishing myself, no more of the trauma.
all good things.
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